Cam's Science Experiments

I must confess: I love experiments. 

In fact, I'm fairly certain that my life is a long series of trial and error events that frequently lead somewhere other than the expected result.  Many of my experiments have become passions while others have fizzled into unrecognizable blobs, destined to be cleaned up one day (like my truck).  While most of you have been around for many of the things, here are a few that I have been reflecting on recently while meddling with my latest experiment...Gardening. 

Cooking: 
Hypothesis: Edible nourishment can be created by combining various "food" items and using "modern" technology like ovens, spatulas, and 200hp deluxe food processors.
Method:  Open refrigerator, grab minimum of 5 ingredients, prepare in the quickest possible way that requires the least amount of energy.
Observations:  Food seems to burn unusually easy; may be a glitch in the cooking methodology (see following).  Step 1. Put all items in skillet and place on burner.  Step 2: stir occasionally.  Step 3: Cat knocks something over and breaks it.  Step 4: chastise the cat, clean up the broken object, do internet research for cat shock collars.  Step 5: Turn off smoke alarm, return to skillet of charcoal briquettes that were once recognizable as pieces of food. 
Result:  Mediocrity bordering on an ongoing stomach ache. 
Conclusions:  If you can find it in the kitchen, I can overcook it.  Greatest success found with foods that start with "Mexican" and end with "spicy". 

Foosball: 
Hypothesis: If you devote a ridiculous amount of time to something that requires fine motor skills and physics (like batting a little red ball back and forth), you will eventually learn profound things about yourself.   
Method:  Quit climbing, going outside, and all activities in general.  Buy a foosball table.  Spend 8-12 hours per day doing the same thing over and over, hoping that the result will be different "next" time. 
Observations: Small, seemingly imperceptible changes in direction can have very profound results on the eventual trajectory of objects.  Understanding the game, the variables, strategy, and being capable to "execute" your plan will allow you to have greater chances at success, but will not guarantee it.  There is always a random and unanticipated element to the game that can define whether you win or lose; often this element of chance surfaces at the most important times and can either leave you feeling uplifted and relieved, or crushed and discouraged.  

Result: A very mediocre foosball game full of faults, tells, and frustration, but a new understanding and method of approaching the game. 
Conclusions:  Without a doubt, foosball was one of the most beneficial and profound experiments I have ever done.  It was also a great way to get tendinitis in wierd places and be ruthlessly mocked by all non "foos" friends. 

My Truck: 
Hypothesis:  Every object has a purpose...even the ones that some would deem as "Trash". 
Method:  Insert gas, change oil occasionally, but only clean truck when ABSOLUTELY necessary, which is essentially never.
Observations: On a long enough timeline, in the right environment, plastic will begin to decompose. Biological waste on the other hand, generally breaks down much faster -- except for baby clams (anonymously duct taped into the door panel...Matt) and stashed cans of tuna, which fester and create an ungodly nauseating stench that never really goes away.

Result: Thousands of miles and memories.  There's always something to write on and you can use an assortment of random objects to McGuyver just about anything...like a Slim Jim to break into your own truck after you lock the keys inside.  Scraps of paper that remind you of cool people you met 3 years ago and lame people you left behind in high-school. 
Conclusions:  Don't clean the car.  You're being environmentally responsible by starting (and perhaps finishing) the decomposition process.  Think of it as mobile composting, one step closer to sustainable living.  You could also take it to the next logical step by planting a small pine tree in your compost on your bumper.  I've heard there have been studies that show pine trees thrive with increased CO2, so it would be a perfect way to reduce emissions while fully maximizing your car's potential. 


The current experiment:
The Garden....Pics to follow....